Nutritional Balance Beam...

Tonight I weighed myself for the first time in a long time.  I have always hovered right around 153lbs but tonight the scaled read 159lbs.  I thought the scale must be wrong so I weighed myself again and again it read 159lbs.  I kind of freaked out and started to look for reasons why I have had this weight gain over the past 3 months.  Many reasons came to mind and some have to do with my nutrition.  Let's look at a few.

The first reason for the weight gain could be due to increase in muscle mass.  Some of my lifts have increased significantly in the past 3months.  I put 20lbs on my snatch, 15lbs on my clean and jerk, and 10lbs on my squat.  These increases came from increase muscle mass so that could be the reason.  I like this line of thinking.  I am getting stronger so in turn I gain weight.  There has to be more to it than that. 

Then I began to look into my nutrition.  Chicago as a whole creates many nutritional traps.  There is so many great places to eat and they all serve massive portions.  Now I have not been going crazy eating out all the time but I can honestly say that I haven't always made the best decisions while eating out.  I have consumed unfavorable carbs and fats and I am not proud of this.  I  have also consumed more beer than I did all of last year.  Now I am not saying that I am drinking all day everyday all I am saying is that there has been an increase in alcohol consumption.  So the combination of poor dietary choices and alcohol could be a huge contribution to the weight gain.  This is a good possibility but one cheat meal and 1 or 2 beers on a weekend can't add 6 lbs.  There must be more.

How about we look into my block counts and what I consume at each meal and snack.  I eat strict zone and paleo foods...ONLY those foods.  My zone block count for each meal currently is 5-5-15 and for snacks it is 2-2-6.  Now some of you know what this means and some of you may not.  I will give a brief explanation.  If you want more info refer the book "The Zone Diet" by Dr. Barry Sears.  This basically means that on any given day I consume a total of 19 blocks of protein, 19blocks of carbs, and 57 blocks of fat.  At each meal I consume 5 ounces of a protein source, a combination of low glycemic high fiber carbs, and lots of healthy omega 3 fatty acids and fats.  A typical dinner will be 5 ounces of chicken, 1 cup of broccoli, 1 cup of cauliflower, 3 cups of spinach and a combination of zucchini, tomatoes, and onions sauteed in olive oil.  I then will also consume 1 whole avocado.  This fulfills my 5-5-15 requirements.  I have decided that I need to reassess my dietary needs.  Let's go through the process!

I need to calculate my body fat percentage.  First I measured my waist at my belly button and got 32 inches.  Next I measured my wrist...6 1/2 inches.  I now need to subtract the wrist from my waist and the result is...25.5 inches.  Using a chart I found out that my body fat percentage is 11.5%.  Now I need to calculate my lean body mass.  Multiply my weight by my body fat percentage.  159 x .115= 18.25 which is the total weight of the fat in my body.  Now I need to subtract my weight from my body fat mass.  159-18.25= 140.75.  This is my lean body mass.  Now I need to figure out my protein requirements.  Okay I need to determine my physical activity factor.  According to the chart I am active (1 hr per day 5 days per week) which equals a factor of 0.8.  To get my daily protein requirement I multiply my lean body mass times my activity factor.  140.75 x 0.8= 112.6.  I need to consume 112.6grams (113) of protein a day.  Now each block of proteins equals 7 grams.  I need to figure out my block consumption for the day.  113/7= 16 blocks per day.  I have been over shooting my nutrition by 3 blocks per day.  Looks like I need to adjust my intake.  I will need to go down to 4-4-12 per meal and 2-2-6 per snack.  Okay so here is the goal starting tomorrow reduce the blocks to the right portions and see where I go from there.

There is a lot of science behind the zone but in my opinion there is some wiggle room.  I three times my fats because that is what I have found to be the right amount of fats to consume in order to fuel my body.  Any less than that per day and I suffer massive headaches.  I will eat the 16 blocks of protein and carbs and see how I feel.  I know that I will feel great and I need to get back to this point.  I knew my nutrition was off but I wasn't sure how much.  A solution has been determined and away I go.

Let me give you a small fact list about what The Zone Diet and Crossfit has done for me.  First of all it got me to lose 35lbs, reduce my cholesterol from 204 to 130, decreased my blood pressure from slightly above normal to 112/72, cleared up my skin, reduced aches and pains in my body, decreased my body fat from 26% to 11.5%.  Crossfit has done more for me than I can explain in words.  Lets just look at some numbers.  My first Fran time was a 11:30 mins and now it is 2:39mins.  My deadlift went from 295lbs to 405lbs, squat from 300lbs to 365lbs, snatch from 155lbs to 205lbs, clean from 225lbs to 260lbs, and front squat from 250lbs to 300lbs.  You want to know what else this was all in less than a year.  I started Crossfit at CF Durham July 20th 2009.  It is now June 24th 2010.  11 months!!!

See what determination, sacrifice, proper nutrition, and an undying desire to succeed has achieved.  I wish that everyone could experience what I feel right now.  I am very happy and excited and know that the only way for things to go is up.  So I gained 9 lbs...I can fix that, hit the workouts harder and more often and adjust my nutrition.  A great inspiration to me is my friend Melinda.  With proper nutrition, Crossfit, and yoga she lost 100lbs and she is still going.  I love her story and love to see her accomplishments.  She is one of my inspirations for never giving up and always looking on the bright side of life. 

If you have any questions or need advice on nutrition let me know I will do my best to help you or send you links and resources that can help.

"Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.”
- General George S. Patton

Trust the programming...

It has been a while since my last post and there are many reasons for this.  There has been a lot going on recently and I have been extremely exhausted.  Today was the fourth day in a row of rest.  I have been hitting the Olympic lifting classes really hard but haven't really done a metcon since last Wednesday.  I feel really guilty about this but at the same time I think that my body may need this extended rest.  During the past four days I have had a lot of time to think about my training and where I feel I am in Crossfit.  I am working hard, studying the journal, and pushing my limits during the Oly class but something does not feel right.  I am still motivated as ever but something is missing.  I am not sure what it is and I am having a hard time figuring it out. 

I looked back over the past couple of months of training and narrowed it down to the week that was the most motivating.  I loved how I felt before and after each WOD.  It was the week of the affiliate team tryouts.  It was so exciting, so difficult, and a great test.  I loved the wods.  They were incredibly difficult and required not only strength but skill as well.  I miss those wods.  I really love tough programming and WOD's that leave you feeling  like you can't take another step.  I decided that I need to get back into more regular Crossfit WOD's.  I still plan on doing the Oly class but may double WOD on those days.  I want to feel the pain, suffer with my friends, and compete.

I think that what one person finds to be difficult programming to another may not be.  It must be extremely difficult to prorgam for everyone in a box.  There is so many different levels of ability and experience.  At what point does a coach decided to increase the difficulty of the programming for certain memebers of their box?  I think this a very difficult question or situation to tackle.  I don't think there is ever a right time but I do think that coaches should program to the ability of the most experienced or best Crossfitters in their box.  This gives the newer members or less skilled members something to shoot for.  I also think that it is probably frustrating to the less skilled or newer members to always see the fire breathers finishing so quickly or finishing and be looking for more.   What if those fire breathers were on the floor right next to the newbies.  Struggling for air, suffering in pain, and just exhausted.  I personally think that is how it should be.  This builds unity and community but most of all it builds a better Crossfitter. 

Give me crazy heavy strength cycles and massive WOD's and I will eat it up.  I want to be destroyed by the WOD's and I want to be strong.  Most of all I want to be the best Crossfitter that I can be.  I am not sure how to do this but I do know that I have to hit WOD's on a daily basis and get after it during the strength segments.  Most of all being the best Crossfitter possible means being competitive.  Being competitive with people in my own box as well as with potential competition during the games.  I need to increase my work compacity and to train my body to recovery effectively and quickly.  This comes with proper training, strength cycles, nutrition, and discipline. 

My goal for the next couple of months is to keep my chin up.  Always look and train in the positive direction and have faith in my coaches and programming.  I am placing my faith in the hands of people I respect a lot.  They will help me achieve my goals and ready me for the next competition...I just have to be patient. 

"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”
-Walter Anderson

Longevity

This past weekend I attended the wedding of one of my best friends.  The wedding took place in Columbus, Ohio and the Wife and I decided to drive down to it.  I have never actually visited Columbus, Oh but have driven through it a number of times.  It was a nice little city with a nice arena district and a great collection of little bars and restaurants.  I can't imagine how crazy it must be when all the OSU students are there especially during football season.  The wedding was great!  Lots of family and friends all coming together for a common cause...celebrating the union of two wonderful people. 

There was a very special moment during the reception.  Instead of throwing the bouquet the bride decided to give it away in a different manner.  She had all the married couples stand up and move onto the dance floor.  At that time the DJ started to play a slow song and as the song progressed he would ask people to leave the dance floor based upon the length of their marriages.  "If you have been married 5 years or less you can leave the floor now", etc.  He worked his way through everyone except one couple.  This couple had been married for 54 years and they were my best friends Grandparents.  They played a very special song for them and they got their own personal dance.  The bride handed my friend's Grandma the bouquet and the room erupted with cheers.  People throughout the room had tears of joy streaming down their faces.  At that moment I thought to myself how amazing it must be to have a love that has lasted that long.  One decision these two wonderful people made many years ago led to everyone celebrating that night.  Trust, faith, and love brought these two people together and has kept them together for more than half a century.  They were amazing...it was amazing!

So how does this relate to my usual Crossfit stuff?  In every way possible.  Longevity is very important in an athletes career.  Without longevity success is only short lived, training is not effective, and the health and fitness benefits are not obtained.  Why would anyone want to put so much time and effort into something and not stick with it?  We have all seen it within our boxes.  There is the person that starts in the foundations/on ramp course, makes it all the way through and then never comes again.  There is also the person that comes for a couple of months makes huge gains and improvements but then just stops coming.  I get so frustrated with these people.  I want these people to be successful and to stay with it but they just won't.  I think that maybe they get in over their heads, find it too difficult, or other things in their lives interfere. 

The simplest solution to all of these problems is to take a step back and re-examine their pursuits in Crossfit.  Maybe they don't fully understand the movements, are using too much weight during the WOD's, or in need of more coaching and support.  Whatever it is we need to give it to them.  Now we cannot make Crossfit easy...that would be a sin.  What we can do is help teach these individuals that they can conquer the hardest of Crossfit challenges... it just takes time and hard work.  Maybe this will carry over into their everyday lives.  Maybe they will improve their work output at their places of business or will work through tough times with their significant others instead of running away and giving up.  Whatever it is the lessons in Crossfit longevity can carry over to longevity in their everyday lives.

We need to train consistently and with purpose and direction.  We need to work to make consistent gains and improvements and to never be satisfied with where we are in Crossfit.  To increase our longevity in this sport means that we need to train smart, maximize recovery, and perfect our nutrition.  We need to realize that even though there may be sprints in our WOD's that our career in Crossfit is more of a marathon.  What I mean is that it takes time for us to reach our maximum potential.  We cannot just walk into the games and win them.  It takes many years of refining your skills, building strength, and working tirelessly.  I have to remind myself this on a daily basis.  I need to contribute more time to becoming a better Crossfitter and refining my skills.  We are a product of what we contribute to fires that forge our being.  If we work hard and contribute all of our effort into our training we will become the athlete we only dream of.

"The way to learn to do things is to do things. The way to learn a trade is to work at it. Success teaches how to succeed. Begin with the determination to succeed, and the work is half done already.”
-Anonymous

Unbelievable...

Everyday during my lunch break I spend at least 15 minutes reading current news and affairs on BBC.  I really enjoy the BBC news service it gives a totally different point of view than the usual American news channels.  I am not knocking the American news channels in any way all I am saying is it is nice to see how others in this world report the news.  So during my lunch today I stumbled upon a news story that made me laugh at first and then it made me extremely angry.  The title of it was "Is that woman fat of pregnant?" 

WHAT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  We need a news report about how to determine if someone is just obese or pregnant.  This is out of control.  I started to read the article because I needed to understand why this is important.  The basis of the article was about public transportation and how people are less likely to get up these days for women because they are not sure if they are pregnant or obese.  Fellow commuters are too polite to ask these people if they would like their seat because they do not want to offend an obese women by asking her if she is pregnant.  Oh the article gets better.  They then interviewed pregnant mothers and asked them how people, especially men, could tell the difference between the two.  They listed out seven items to look for that included huffing and puffing, belly or back rubbing, look at swollen feet, what she is reading, inflated ankles, waddling walk, and a well defined solid bump in their abdomen.  Okay so I get it these are all signs of a pregnant women.  But come on really...is this really that big of a problem.

Now ladies I am not singling your sex out I am just floored by this article.  I have seen plenty of men that look pregnant but based on their lack of proper equipment it just isn't possible.

So I finished the article and I was fired up.  I can't believe that there are so many obese people in this world that we need a guide to help us differentiate between pregnant and non-pregnant women.  I got an idea... get your lazy ass up off the couch, put down your fried khaki colored foods, and do some exercise.  Maybe we need to ask these people if they are pregnant.  Maybe they will get the point that they look like a pregnant person and they should loose weight and become a healthier person.  I know we are supposed to be confident in our skin but come on there needs to be a limit.  I know that I am far from perfect but at least I eat right and exercise.  We need to stop encouraging this type of behavior.  The behavior of encouraging obesity in our communities.  This is driving me crazy.  This needs to change.

Please let me know if I am crazy and if my expectations are too high.  I don't think so.  I don't expect everyone to walk into their local box and crush a 2 minute "Fran" but I do expect them to make little changes like going for a walk or eating a few colorful fruits and vegetables.  I wish I could go to people's houses and give them the tools to help themselves.  Maybe some day.

Obesity is an epidemic and is slowing killing many members of our communities.  We need to find a way to change the course of the American diet and to help eliminate problem foods.  I hope that this motivates you to help a friend or family member become a better person. 

To all the pregnant women out there.  I think that you are beautiful.  You have been given an amazing gift.  You can create, nurture, and bring a new life into this world.  That is something that I find to be one of the most amazing gifts that any person can have.  I am even more in awe when I see you pregnant ladies crushing Crossfit WOD's and doing pull ups or push ups.  You staying fit during pregnancy sets the precedent for the rest of your life and your baby's life.  Remember that special gift when you are making nutritional and fitness choices for them as they grow.  You are building the path for the rest of their lives. 

"Epidemics have often been more influential than statesmen and soldiers in shaping the course of political history, and diseases may also color the moods of civilizations”
-Anonymous

Humility...

Tonight I was talking with a good friend from Crossfit Durham.  It was awesome to catch up with him and to find out what he has been doing.  It was very hard for me to leave all my friends at Crossfit Durham and Crossfit Local.  They were all amazing athletes and were even more amazing people.  Every one of them would go out of their way for each other.  They created such unbelievable training environment full of competitiveness and support.  I was very stressed when I moved back to Chicago that I would have a tough time finding another box like this one.  Now we all know that no two things in this world can be exactly identical but they can be pretty damn close.  I was lucky to stumble upon Windy City Crossfit and it was exactly what I needed.  There are great coaches, a great training environment, a great sense of community, and a wonderful support system.  I am very happy to have the opportunity to be a member of Windy City CF.  I had found my new Crossfit home. 

Back to my previous thoughts.  I was talking with this friend from Durham and during our conversation he had asked how things are going.  I told him things were good, trying to keep up with everyone and getting used to the new gym.  He then said I am sure you are destroying it to which I responded I would not go that far I am just doing my best.  He replied "Big Pat you are always a humble man".  Now it is funny that my friend calls me big Pat because he is at least 6' 3" and 300lbs and is an ex college football player.  He is almost a foot taller than me and is double my body weight.  If anyone should have big in front of his name it should be him.  The conversation continued and it turns out he is doing great and can't get enough Crossfit.  What a guy!

After the conversation I began to think about being a "humble man" and what humility is in general.  What is it?  What does it say about you?  I had to look up the definition to understand all the various meanings. 

Humility (adjectival form: humble) is the quality of being modest, reverential, even politely submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or even self-abasing. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions. 

I guess I am a humble man.  I believe that your actions in life always speak louder than the loudest voice.  We all have seen these people in life.  They have to talk about how great they are, all the things they have, and what they have accomplished.  If you truly have done all these things they will show in their own time.  You do not need to walk around squawking like a chicken.  Just go about your business.  I learned a great deal of humility from my parents.  They never talked about their accomplishments.  They told us nobody likes a person that brags all the time...they like someone who works hard and asks little in return. 

I think that a lot of humility comes from the understanding that no matter how great your accomplishments are there will always be someone that has a better accomplishment.  That sounds kind of harsh but it is true.  I learned this in wrestling.  No matter how good I seemed to think I was there was always someone out there that could beat me. 

I never feel it necessary to boast about my accomplishments.  I let them speak for themselves.  Whether it is a work accomplishment, a new PR, or a faster time on a WOD it doesn't matter.  I am proud of these accomplishments don't get me wrong I just no that there is more work to do.  I want to train around these kinds of people as well.  I want to train around people who work their butts off, push themselves to their limits, and never question whether or not they could have done more.  These people are the right kind to support your athletic accomplishments.

A humble man will reach heights that the biggest boast could not ever imagine reaching.  He will do this because instead of talking he is working.  He is constantly looking for ways to improve himself and to become a better athlete.  Be proud of all that you have accomplished.  Recognize the greatness of these but move on and do not dwell.  There is always more work to be done and room for improvement. 

Get after it every chance you get.  Wow people with your actions and let everyone know how much of a badass you are without saying a word.  People will be attracted to your amazing abilities and your work ethic and will return great amounts of respect.  You can do this without a single spoken word.  Powerful actions and humility are signs of a great person.  Exude your confidence but do it with how hard you work every day and by being an example in your community. 

"To be humble to superiors is duty, to equals courtesy, to inferiors nobleness.”
-Benjamin Franklin

Life as a precious resource...

One of the toughest things in life is the death of someone who you care for and love.  Over the past 3 days at work I have had to deal with this a number of times.  My occupation is a veterinary technician and each day I have to opportunity to save animals, keep them healthy, and share in their bond with their owners.  This job  has many facets.  You have to be good with the animals and with their owners.  You need to be the voice for the pet and give the owners guidance and advice in good times and bad.  Some days it is nothing but happy puppies and kittens and they keep a smile on your face all day long.  Other days it is a true challenge with mean or difficult pets or the very sick pets.  The past three days have been full of very sick pets.  Twice in the last three days I have been part of bringing an arresting animal back to life.  I am not sure how many of you have had to deal with a life and death situation where every decision you make or action you do will either make something live or die...let's just say it can be extremely stressful.

Saturday a cat coded.  This means the cat had no heart beat and was not breathing.  Within 30 seconds the cat was intubated, oxygen support was going, and your standard emergency drugs were being injected into the IV catheter.  A few seconds later the heart was going again and the cat was breathing on its own.  What a cool feeling.  We just took this dead cat and made it live again.  It was great.  Stepping back from the situation I began to think about it.  This cat died in my hands and then as a team we brought it back to life. 

Have any of you felt life leave something? 

It is an awkward feeling.  Something that was living and breathing has now stopped and there is a very good possibility that it will never do that again.  Even tougher than this is trying to explain to that pet's owner that their loved one is no longer with us.  There is a massive range of emotions of sorrow, sadness, and even relief.  Sometimes the owner knows their pet was suffering and they didn't know what to do.  Now they no longer have to worry...the suffering is over.  Watching adults cry is very difficult to witness.  It is equally difficult to be strong in front of them. 

Why am I writing about all this unpleasant stuff?

I am writing about this because I think that we all take life for granted.  We as Crossfitters are always wanting to be better, eat healthier, go faster, be stronger, etc. and get really frustrated when these things don't happen.  WAIT A MINUTE...You are alive!  You are working out, having a great time, and are more fit and a better athlete then most people anywhere in this world.  Think about how precious your life is and how precious the lives of your loved ones are.  Think about the people around you in the box suffering and sweating and how precious their existence is.  Sometimes we need perspective on how amazing you are as a person and as an athlete.  This perspective is the key to understanding how precious each day is. 

I get really frustrated with myself sometimes when it comes to Crossfit and Olympic lifting.  I am very hard on myself and never believe that I have gone fast enough or pushed hard enough in the WOD.  This motivates me to be better the next time I walk into the box and that is great.  After the past 3 days of work I will not go any easier on myself but I will be more appreciative of the chances I have to go into the box pick heavy stuff up and suffer through the WOD.  I am extremely lucky to have this opportunity.  Don't you think you are lucky as well?  If you don't come spend a day in my world. 

Everyone I know in the Crossfit community has been truly blessed by many things like determination, work ethic, athletic ability, and perseverance.  I think that most of us know how lucky we are to have the experiences and friends we have.  We cherish our opportunities to get better as an athlete and truly want the same for our friends.  Next time you walk into the box think about how precious your life and the lives of your friends are.  Be thankful for each step you take and each challenge you conquer.  If you are not motivated by these opportunities think about it a little more or watch the world news.

Life is a gift.  Cherish each moment that you have.  Put everything you can into it, never short yourself, and always be thankful for the people who love and care for you. 

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
- Ashley Smith

Living with your choices...

I know that everyone at some point in time has made a poor choice and had to live with the outcome.  We learn from this mistake and move on.  The same thing is true about Crossfit and the WOD's.  It happens a lot with beginners and with guys who think they are a true badass but really aren't.  I love the look on their face when they hit that moment in a WOD when they immediately regret their decision to use the weight they are using, wearing a vest, or going too fast at the beginning.

What does this mean?  A LOT!

There is a reason behind the design, designated weights and times of the WOD's.  They are desiged to create a certain metabolic conditioning effect within the body.  For example if the WOD is created to be completed in 8 mins at a weight of 95 lbs what do you think the finishing time should be?  It should be roughly 8mins +/- 30 seconds.  Does it make any sense to have an athlete take 16mins to complete this WOD just to say they used the RX weight.  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  This athlete got little to no metabolic conditioning.  They missed the entire principle of the WOD.  They did not become stronger or become a better athlete.  They simply can say they completed the WOD slower than every other person in the box.  They did do the WOD with the Rx weight...STUPID!  That is what that line of thinking is.

This drives me crazy!  It is a real hot button for me.  I hate to train with those people that are more concerned about Rx weights than they are about properly training the skill sets in the WOD's.  Back the weight down, modify the skill, use a band...whatever it takes. Just complete the WOD in a method that will make you a better Crossfitter.  There is plenty of time for skill work and strength building.  That is the point of the strength programming or skill programming.  The WOD's are there to improve your metabolic conditioning.  When you are doing back squats would you do an incomplete squat just to say you can squat a heavy weight.  NO!  You would train the full range of motion and use less weight because you know it will make you stronger.  This is the same for the WOD's.

Last August when I was fairly new to Crossfit I almost never did any of the WOD's at the Rx weight.  At that time I did not feel that using less weight would make me any less of a man or take away from my ego.  Instead I knew that if I trained the lifts and WOD's properly I would be able to complete the WOD's as Rx'd in no time.  By September of that same year I was all over the Rx'd weights and WOD's.  If I had not done this I would not be where I am today.  It is a slow building process and due to learning proper range of motion and properly building strength I am able to compete with the rest of the men at my box during the WOD's.

If I could say anything to new people or any Crossfitter it is to check you ego at the door.  Your ego will be the biggest hurdle to your training and will become the greatest interference on your path to Crossfit greatness. 

When do we decide that we should go Rx?  This is a very fluid concept and a bit subjective.  It varies from person to person.  Some people will be more willing to take the leap.  In my opinion once a person has developed the skill sets, been involved in the strength cycles, and has put their time in at the box then they should move onto to Rx.  Some people will ask "What are you going to use?  Do you think I should go Rx".  My answer is usually what do you think?  If I have been watching this athlete train and know they can do it I will encourage the Rx; otherwise I will encourage the athlete to use more weight than they normally would but not quite Rx.  It is important not to rush our athletes and friends into Rx weights or skills.  It is our responsibility to to ensure safety and proper skill levels and then encourage Rx. 

You can't sprint before you walk.  Pretty simple concept and it applies to every aspect of Crossfit.  This is not just for the beginner but applies to all levels of Crossfit athletes.  All levels of athletes continue to learn skill sets and build strength.  They too need to check their ego's and stay with fundamental and appropriate training.

Train honest and true.  Learn the basics and go back to them frequently.  Never forget where you want to go and where you came from.  Help others in your box learn the proper skills and techniques, support them and guide them. 

"Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.”
-Diana Black

Inspiration and failures...

Today I was browsing around some of my favorite Crossfit blogs doing some research and looking for new training tips.  A suggestion from a friend lead me to Dutch Lowy's blog.  His blog is written very well and gave some great perspective in regards to Crossfit and Olympic lifting.  Today he wrote about Olympic lifting and how people his same size can snatch 2 times what he can.  He was obviously referring to the best Olympic lifters in the world.  In his blog was a video clip from the 2009 world championships and was the 69kg class.  What an amazing video...truly inspiring.  I watched this video not just to watch it but to learn from it. I watched a number of times and tried to see what made their lifts so effective.

Commitment!  Each time they stood on that platform to attempt their lifts everything in their being was in the lift.  Their technique was perfect, their execution was perfect, and the lift was perfect.  It was truly inspiring.  It is hard to imagine that these guys missing lifts, they make it look so easy.

I sat back and thought about my training and where I want to go with it.  I also thought about my lifts and whether or not I am fully focused and committed to making them better.  I know that I will never be like the guys on the video but I do want to be the best I can be and to be competitive.  This will only come with time and a lot of work.  I need to make the most of each moment I have in the box and to improve my technique every time I step on the platform.  These are all things that I can do.  I can work hard, focus on improving my technique, and with time increase my strength levels.

This is why I think Crossfitters and Olympic lifters are amazing people.  They do not look for a magic pill to make them better quickly.  They look at how to improve themselves and understand that it is matter of time and investment of effort.  There is no pill in the world that will make you better on a clean and jerk or help you do a muscle up.  Crossfitters get better at what they do because they are not afraid to fail a million times. They know that their efforts will be returned 10 fold when they get that first muscle up or a PR on any of their lifts.  Big shout out here to my friend Ashley Denton!  She was having a difficult time getting muscle ups and went to the Dirty South Regionals and still had not accomplished a muscle up.  Guess what was in one of the WOD's...muscle ups.  Guess what she did?

She got her first muscle up!  I wish I had been there to see it!  The look on her face must have been out of this world.  I am very proud of her!  She deserved that muscle up because of all the effort she had put in. Great job Ashley. 

What it really comes down to is whether or not you have the discipline to work your butt off.  Are you willing to put in the effort and deal with the frustrations of failure.  If you aren't then I don't want to train with you.  I want to train around athletes who go outside of their comfort zone and aren't afraid to take risks.  I want my fellow athletes to be strong and competitive and at the same time deal with their weakness and failures just like they do for the strengths.  Embrace your failures, take them in stride, and work to improve them.  You never know when your failures will become an success...it may just be exactly when you need it the most.  

"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”
-Colin Powell

"Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something.”
-Frederick Smith

Freedom...

Today is Memorial Day and it is a day we set aside to thank all of our nation's troops for the sacrifices they make or have made.  These sacrifices have given us the freedom that we enjoy each day.  Everyday that I leave my apartment I look at my USA flag uniform patch at the top of my door frame and I am moved.  I am moved to be the best I can and to know no matter how bad a day I may have it can never compare to the soldier's suffering and sacrifices.  I am thankful for that solider and their unwavering passion and love for our great nation.

I think that sometimes people in this country take their freedoms for granted and even abuse them.  I will state this early in my post...I am not going to talk about politics or debate anything with you so save your rhetoric.  This nation was founded on the will of the people. They were in search for a place to call home that guaranteed a certain way of life, a life of options and choices.  How do you think we got these choices or freedoms?

The blood of our young men and women.  That's how!

They gave all in the ultimate sacrifice in order to ensure the American dream and way of life.  This is not limited to the fighting for the USA.  Think of all the sacrifices American troops made to free so many innocent people during WWII and the sacrifices they are making right now in the effort to give people in the Middle East a better way of life.  They ask nothing in return accept to see their families and spend only precious few moments with the one's they love.  They may never have this opportunity again.  I ask that the next time you see one of our brave soldiers shake their hand, say thank you, and tell them you are proud of what they do.  That is all they need.  They need our support and to know that we Americans are behind them 100%.  I am, I support them, shake their hands, and if I see them at a restaurant or coffee shop I buy their meal or coffee for them.  This is my duty as an American...support the people that give me the chance to live my life.

Today I took part in the Trevor Win'E Memorial Day Challenge.  This is a charity that is supported by local Crossfit Affiliates and attempts to raise money to help purchase cooling vest, scarfs, and helmet liners for our soldiers over seas in the Middle East.  The workout was a team effort and was very challenging.  Many people left with torn up bloody hands but this is nothing compared to what Trevor went through and what many other American soldiers must deal with.  The workout was made up of 300 pull ups, 400 push ups, 500 sit ups, and 600 squats.  It was quite a challenge but it was for a good cause.  What did you do today to support our troops?

For anyone who reads my blog and does not Crossfit let me explain to you a few reason that Crossfit is amazing other than creating the best athletes in the world.  Crossfit supports and believes in our troops.  They have helped support the Wounded Warriors Foundation through a charity event every September.  They help support causes like Trevor Win'e Memorial Day Workout and do all of this not for Crossfit but for our troops.  Crossfit has also created a set of workouts called the "Hero WOD's".  These have been named for service men and women, law enforcement, and fire fighters who have died in the line of duty.  These workouts are unbelievably difficult and push you farther than you ever thought you could.  Some people may never be able to do these.  Below is a link to an article about the Hero WOD's, what they are, and some of the stories of the individuals that they are named for.

To Honor Our Fallen

Remember who you are and where you live.  Remember each day that you live in this great nation which affords you opportunities you have that others in this world may never have.

I love America and will always stand up for her and defend her.  I will gladly stand and protect her.  I hope that you have that same passion and would be the person to my left and right, never wavering and fearless.

The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.
-Thucydides

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
 — General George S. Patton

A pear shapped America...

Tonight my post is going to be a little different.  Instead of talking about focus and training I need to vent about something I saw last night.  Kara (my Wife for all of you who don't know her) purchased tickets to a Cubs game for my birthday.  We had amazing seats, right behind home plate about 25 rows back from the field.  The seats were perfect, the weather was perfect, and energy of the crowd was perfect.  Everything was great, I sat back and relaxed and between batters and innings I looked around the crowd and at the people passing by our row and was appalled.  I was appalled by the health disasters walking all around me and the terrible influence they were being on their children.  I am not judging any one's ability to parent or whether or not they are good people...I was just truly worried about them.  People looked swollen, red faced, could barely walk up the ramps and stairs in the stadium, and were breathing as if they just did an 800meter sprint.   These people looked like most of us after "Fran" and all they had done was walk down an aisle.  What is going on here?

Poor nutrition, lack of exercise, and a sedentary lifestyle!  That is what is going on!

I do not compare normal American's to me, my lifestyle, or my fellow crossfitters but I do compare them to an image of health and these people failed miserably.  It seemed like 90% of the crowd was like this.  I started to think harder about this and to question why and then I looked at all the food that was being sold by the vendors.  Hot dogs, beer, pretzels, licorice, ice cream, etc.  No wonder these people look like this...I think I saw some guy put down like 6 or 7 hot dogs that were fully involved.  Then I thought "I wonder if broccoli or apples would sell at ball parks?"  I started to laugh at the thought of the poor vendor that had to carry around a huge steamer full of broccoli and cauliflower...he would probable make 2 sales at the game...1 to me and 1 to my wife.  We had no hot dogs or  beer, but had opted for a couple waters.  This did not effect my level of enjoyment of the game, I was still able to walk home, and did not feel terrible afterwards.  I had a huge concern..."Where are we going to be as society in 20 years?"..."How much money am I going to have to pay in taxes to support all these people's health issues?".  I am not getting into any health care debates so save your rhetoric.  I am just simply saying that we as the fitness and health minded individuals need to get out there and show people why it works and how easy it can be.

Just like we have a responsibility to each other in our boxes to push each other and help each other we have the same responsibility to do this in our general community.  It makes me incredibly sad and depressed to see obese children.  They are going to have diabetes and massive other problems throughout their lives.  All they need to do is eat a little better and play outside.  They don't even play outside anymore!  They sit in front of the television eating billions of tons of processed foods and sugar and become piles of fat.  Let's get out there and create safer communities so they can play outside.  Let's get involved in after school programs and rec league sports.  If you want to raise my taxes to pay for stuff I will gladly fork over my money to help children become safer and healthier. 

How can we do this?  How can we influence our communities?

Invite school age children into our local crossfits.  Teach them fitness and make it fun for them.  During this class teach the parents a little about nutrition and appropriate portions.  It could have amazing impacts like less medicated children.  What a great world we could create.  We could be called the Crosslit legionnaires!  We are campaigning to save our youth, to ensure a safer future, and to make a better America!

I am not sure this is possible or will happen but we can try.  I am not sure if I will ever have children but some day if I do I would like my children to set an example for the friends.  To be healthy kids, eat a fun and healthy diet, to play and grow up in crossfit gyms, and to be a great human! 

Back to last night.  You can only help people that want to help themselves.  I was not about to walk up to some guy drinking beers and eating hot dogs and say hey why aren't you drinking water and eating green leafy vegetables.  This guy would probably laugh at me and think I am a total crazy person.  I idea here is listen to the people you interact with everyday.  Maybe someone at work looks up to your levels of fitness and health...guide them and show them the way.  Teach them what you know and give them the tools to be the best they can be.  This will have a trickle down effect.  They will teach their family and friends who will teach their family and friends and eventually one day the difference will be evident.

Just like my other post topics this will take tons of work and effort but we can't give up.  We need to keep working and being the strong voice.  We are the products of our consumptions.  You make poor nutritional and health choices and in return you will be a person of sub par health and productivity.

Make each of our choices count no matter how big or small!  These choices will reverberate in more ways than you can ever imagine.  I hope that all of you make the tough decision to eat healthy, keep working hard at your box, and undertake the challenge of making somebody you know a better person. 

GOOD LUCK!  Nothing worth having ever came easy...it came with sacrifice, diligence, and faith.  Put your faith in the greater good of the human condition and into a higher power that will lead you when you are lost.  Sometimes faith and hard work is all we need. 

"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”
-Patrick Overton

Running out of time...

Today was my 30th birthday!  I was pretty excited about today and to celebrate with Kara and my friends.  The more I thought about my birthday the more I started to reflect on my training and competing in the games.  I thought to myself I am 30 years old I don't have that many good years left.  Everything is going to become more difficult.  I will not recover as fast, movements may slow down, and many other bad thoughts.  After a great conversation this morning with one of the coaches at WCCF I got another point of view.  This point of view was "there's plenty of time... just keep training".  There is always the master's class and I have 20 years to train for that!

I changed my thinking.  I am only 30 years old.  That is great!  I have only been doing Crossfit for a little over 9 months and have tons of room for improvement.  I am fired up!  Time to get after it...really push the extremes.  I need to look at my training in a whole new manner.  I need to understand how to recover more effectively, hone in my nutrition, and make all my lift techniques perfect.  Imagine where I will be this time next year.  I will be a whole year stronger, faster, and more efficient.  What is the plan for this upcoming year?

TO HAVE FUN!

That's right I said have fun.  I never want Crossfit to become something I stress over.  I want it to be my outlet for stress and to make me feel great.  I want to train hard and be competitive but at the same time I do not want it to become a chore or work like.  Crossfit is an amazing sport.  You can push yourself beyond you limit everyday and you become better for it.  Why would you want to turn this into something that you stress out about.  I do not feel this makes me any less motivated as a Crossfitter instead I think it will make me a better Crossfitter.  I will have the advantage of perfect focus.  Entering the box everyday and knowing I am there for 2 purposes: to get better as an athlete and to have fun will be very important.  You cannot let the one thing in your life that makes you happy become a new source of stress and anxiety.

What is your plan over the next year?

Whether you made it into the games or not you will need to improve on your level of fitness.  Will you hang your head and become frustrated or will you look into the future and train to become a better athlete?  Only you can decide which it will be.  You can have the best coaches in the world, the best Crossfit community, or the best box in the world but if you do not commit to being a better athlete you might as well not show up.  I don't want to train around someone that is feeling sorry for themselves.  Get over it, move on, and get better.  Use that awful taste of defeat to motivate you training.  Understand that your improvements will always help with the next challenge and that everything has happened for a reason.

If you ever need support in the box I am here.  If you have lost your focus I will give you it.  As a member of the Crossfit community it is important that we pull our friends along.  If you see someone suffering or down after a WOD pick them up.  Not just physically but mentally and emotionally.  We can only become a better community if we all work towards the end result of becoming the best athletes possible. 

Take pride in your efforts, never stop working, and become a student of the sport.  Read articles, go to seminars, perfect your nutrition and supplementation, and most of all improve who you are.  Become the athlete you want to be because  it will happen if you up in the blood, sweat, and work.   

"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”
-Gail Devers

The desire to be better...

The affiliate team tryouts were a great experience.  Gave me some great perspective and identified where my training needs improve.  I am pretty good at body weight stuff, chippers, and Olympic lifting but I am week in running and rowing.  I need to improve those areas.  Need to train them harder and become more efficient at these.  Great....How do I do that?

I have been dwelling on this for a week to no end.  I need to be better, I need to improve, I need to better myself.  The problem is I am not sure I know exactly how to become a better rower or a better runner.  I am sure like most things in Crossfit it is just working at it but there are some inherent problems with just working at it.  Let's look at a few:

# 1:  How do I fit this extra training into an already busy schedule and still maintain an effective amount of rest?
#2:  How do I overcome some basic structural hurdles that comes with a small frame?
#3:  Where do I find a training program, schedule, or method that will actually work?
and #4:  Will all this training actually pay off, will it get me the results I want?

I don't want to sound like a pessimist but those are some serious hurdles to cross.  Let's see if there are some answers.  The first problem isn't really a problem.  I have a rest day twice a week.  I can exchange the rest days for endurance training.  Do this for about 3 weeks at a time and then follow with a rest week from the endurance training. 

Next problem being of small stature.  Well I can't change that unless I get shin implants and that's not going to happen and it would probably make the problem worse.  This is where just working at these challenges is the answer.  I just need to train the run and the row and make them as efficient as possible.  Push my training so hard that any amount of running or rowing in a WOD will be no big deal.

Training programs, schedules, and methods for the endurance challenges can easily be answered by going to the http://www.crossfitendurance.com/ website.  They have daily endurance planning and WOD's designed to improve these areas.  I will tackle these when possible. 

Problem number 4 is not a problem if I stick to the 3 answers and goals above.  The training will pay off and I will become a better rower and runner.  This does not mean that I am going to be the best runner or rower in the box but I will be better than I am now. 

Sometimes during our training we hit walls that seem too difficult to get over.  The challenge seems to be impossible.  It may be a certain PR that you want to hit or a skill that you want to do but you cannot master it...how to do you get past these problem.  First look at your goal... is it realistic.  I sure as heck would love to clean 300lbs but it is not going to happen any time in the near future.  It will only come with a ton of work and perfecting my technique.  SET REALISTIC GOALS.  Set goals that you can obtain and which will be steps forward towards you ultimate goal. 

Second look at your mental attitude towards it.  Has the PR or skill become toxic to your work ethic or your training focus.  If the PR or skill has negatively effected your metcons or training you need to ditch it.  Stop putting so much energy into it.  Step away from it, train and focus on other PR's or skills and then return to original PR or skill when you have fresh and positive mental energy and focus. 

Third assess your actual physical training.  Is your training actually helping you attain this PR or skill.  If you want to squat 400lbs but all you are training is shoulder press or pull ups your training is not beneficial to attaining your goals.  Understand what your end result needs to be and the steps it will take to get there.  Train the squat, train the clean, and work WOD's that will focus effort into your legs and back. 

Most of all never give up.  Understand that you will hit walls during you training.  You will have great days and you will have terrible days.  You will have days where all you want to do is give up.  You will have days where your goal will be just within reach.  Step back and reflect.  Consistency and perseverance will get you what you want.  It is not the good day or the great feeling it is the discipline in your training.  Suffer through the tough days and soak up the great days but always keep your mental focus and attitude where it needs to be.  Set small goals that you can achieve.  With each small goal you achieve you will get closer and closer to your ultimate goal.  With each milestone that you achieve you will be adding positive energy to your focus and will build up your confidence.

There is always a way to be better and to improve yourself.  It will come time and dedication.  Make every lift, rep, and WOD count.  Get after it and go 100%. 

"Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”
-Anonymous

Exhaustion...

Yesterday was a less than perfect day for me.  I was exhausted, could barely keep moving and felt horrible.  My nutrition was good, I wasn't sick, I had been sleeping through the night...what was going on?  Let's break down my typical Thursday.

5am wake up.  530am at Grant Park to run bootcamp.  830am to 6pm at work.  630pm at Lincoln Park for bootcamp. 730pm Olympic lifting class and metcon.  Home at 845pm dinner at 9 pm. Blog, and take Mable for a walk...Bed at 1045pm.  Repeat this or a very similar variation 6 more times and you have my week.  I had been doing this for the past 2 months non-stop.  Yesterday I hit a brick wall.  All my energy was depleted. 

On top of my usual rotine and work load this week has been the Windy City Crossfit Affiliate Team Tryouts.  These days have been mentally and physically exhausting.  Pushing your body past it's breaking point day after day.  I completed the first three WOD's on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  Thursday came and I decided to retake a rest day.  No WOD, the fourth WOD would wait until Friday morning.  I still planned on completing the rest of my usual day but that quickly changed.  It was 6 pm and I was supposed to be out of work but that did not happen.  I got out of work at 615pm and could not make to bootcamp.  There was not enough time for me to change and drive down to Lincoln Park...mainly because traffic at that time of the day is terrible.  I went home exhausted and pissed off.

When I walked into my apartment I went to find my trusty ole hound dog Mable and to give her a pet and play with her.  She is amazing.  She takes all of my problems away, I sit with her and pet her, throw her toy and she looks at me, drooling and wagging her tail and always wanting more.  What an amazing and simple joy to be the owner of a wonderful dog.  I love her to no end.  She has been by my side everyday for the past 4 years.  She was there when I first met my wife, when we got engaged, when we got married, when we moved to NC and back to Chicago...she has been there for everything.  She trusts me and I trust her...we are best friends.  Sorry to ramble.  She was laying on our spare bed and sleeping.  I walked over to her, she started to wag her tail for before I got there and I decided I needed to sleep.  I laid down next to Mable and I was out.  I woke up 4 hrs later to eat dinner at 10pm.  I needed the fuel to have energy for this morning's WOD.  I was back in bed by 1030pm after taking Mable for a walk and next thing I know it is 545am.  Time to get up, grab my gear, and off to Crossfit.  I felt great.  I was happy, I was recharged, and was ready to go.

I was shocked how I needed to rest.  Usually a rest day for me just means I don't do a WOD or lift.  I would still do all the other things in my day.  I guess a rest day means REST.  Who would have thought that?  Not me...I didn't get the point.  I thought that if I rested I would fall behind on my work or training...turns out that theory is completely wrong and stupid. 

It is incredibly important to rest on your rest day.  Not just from Crossfit but from everything.  Eat right, drink lots of water, stretch, and SLEEP!  Your body needs it and requires it for optimum performance.  Next time your rest day pops up think about it.  Are you really resting?  Rest is programmed into certain WOD's to deliver n desired effect.  The effect is be able to go to your max each round following the rest.  The same is true with your day of rest.  Take your rest day but get back into the box immediately.  Pick up where you left off and fire all your potential and effort into the WOD. 

Without rest all your training and effort will fall to waste.  You will not make gains, not hit PR's, and not be the athlete you should be.  You will be a frustrated and tired athlete.  Do not over train but instead train intelligently.  You cannot become Captain Crossfit by doing three a days every day for the rest of your life.  You will become a broken Crossfitter and will end up sitting on the side watching all your friends suffer.  Do not end up like me yesterday, barely able to function and a mess.  Take your rest, enjoy it, and breath. 

"Rest when you're weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work.”
- Ralph Martson

Underestimating...

We have all been there at some point in our lives.  We look at a task and say to ourselves "that doesn't look so bad"...man were we ever wrong!  Underestimating a challenge can have severe consequences and be extremely detrimental to the outcome of the task.

When was the last time you underestimated a task?  I can tell you about the first time that I honestly can remember this happening...here goes!

I was a freshman in high school and trying out for the wrestling team.  There was a junior varsity team and a varsity team and we always practiced together.  In order to be the wrestler that represented any weight class on the roster you needed to be the best of the people at your weight.  This was determined by a "wrestle off".  For example let's take the 140lb weight class.  If there were 5 guys on the team that weighed 140lbs only 1 would be the weight class starter.  They would wrestle each other in practice in a full match until the wrestler with most wins was named and then he would be the starter.  It was very competitive and exhausting both mentally and physically.  Now that you understand this let's move on.

So I was a freshman and there were only two of us that could wrestle at the 103lb weight class and no one currently in that spot on the varsity team.  Our coach decided that he would make the 2 of us wrestle off and the winner was the varsity wrestler and the loser was the junior varsity wrestler.  I thought to my self "simple enough, beat that other guy and I got a varsity spot". HOW HARD COULD THIS BE!   Ha...I was way off.  I had never wrestled a full match in my life and had a very limited skill set.  Turns out my opponent had been wrestling since he was a little kid and had a very large skill set.  I had no idea.  I stepped up to my opponent and we went at it.  I was stronger and more athletic than him so I got my points where I could but I did not have any wrestling knowledge.  Every time I scored a point my opponent would score two.  During the third period I hung my head too low and he caught me in a head lock and dropped me to the mat.  I was screwed...I looked at the coach and said "I don't think I can breath what do I do".  His response was..."If you can talk you can breath. Don't get pinned and fight to get up".  I thought to myself "easy for you to say" but it was just that simple.  Don't give up, fight for you life, and don't get beat.   What lesson did I learn during that match?

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A CHALLENGE!
 
I think this has happened to all of us at one time or another in Crossfit.  We look at WOD and say that shouldn't be too bad.  The weight isn't really heavy, the rep scheme isn't super high, or the AMRAP is short.  I am going to smoke this workout!  Man were we ever wrong!  Every time we think like this the exact opposite happens...the not so bad WOD beats us into the ground and laughs at us as it walks away.  I hate when that happens, it is extremely frustrating.  If we had only had the right focus and approached the WOD like any other workout and gave the same intensity the WOD would have still beat us up but you would have gotten more from it.

Never underestimate what  a WOD will require.  It does not need to have the most complex moves, the heaviest weights, or the most reps to be challenging.  Think about how you feel after you complete "Cindy".  All it is pull ups, push ups, and squats...how hard can that be.  We all know it is terribly difficult.  Just as we train our bodies we need to train our minds and our focus.  We need to be disciplined in our mental approach to WODs and training.  If we continue to underestimate skills, lifts, and WOD's we are just setting ourselves up for failure.  We will never truly get what we need from these challenges.  

I heard a great wrestling coach once say "wrestling is 80% mental and 20% physical.  You can be the strongest man on the mat but you will always lose to a smart wrestler.  He will learn you weakness, see that your only weapon is strength, and will make you suffer".  I have never forgotten this and I often feel that Crossfit and it's WOD's are my opponent.  If I allow the workouts to be the smarter wrestler it will beat me down and get the best of me but if I approach the workout with the right mental focus the WOD has nothing on me.  It will still make me feel extreme levels of pain, I will still be exhausted, but I get more out of the challenge. 

Be smart, use your weapons, understand you strengths and how to apply them.  Never underestimate the skill sets in a WOD or it's design and approach it like it is the most difficult challenge in the world.

"It's not what's happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it's your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you're going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.”
-Anthony Robbins

Confidence and it's amazing powers...

Tonight was the second of four tryouts for the Windy City Crossfit Affiliate team.  This WOD was extremely challenging with a combination of pure strength and skill.  We had to complete three rounds for time of 7 ground to over head at 185lbs and 50 double unders.  It was extremely challenging going from a heavy skilled movement to a quick skilled movement.  This WOD really tested us.

All day today I had a lack of confidence.  I was very uncertain of how I was going to perform tonight after last night's WOD.  It is difficult to pick yourself back up after suffering such a huge mental and emotional defeat.  Even as I entered WCCF tonight and started to warm up I was very uncertain of myself.  The earlier class' bars looked extremely heavy.  The weight was pounding the ground with an Earth shaking thud!  Instead of firing me up it was making me feel more and more nauseous.  The anxiety was killing me... it was eating me alive.

The line up was set for the first heat.  I volunteered to go first because I could not stand to wait another minute.  I stepped up to the bar and started.  The weight was moving and the anxiety was gone.  It was all focus and effort at this point.  I knew I needed to just work until I was done and could not do another movement.  I punched through the WOD and it felt great.  All the feelings of self doubt and lack of confidence were gone.  I was by no means happy or satisfied but I had my confidence back.

What is Confidence?  What does it do for you?

Confidence gives me the strength to overcome the largest of challenges.  Confidence is not an easy thing to have...it has to be earned and proven.  Without confidence there would be very little that I could accomplish in life and at Crossfit.  This was completely evident all day today.  I was not sure that I would live up to my expectations and complete the WOD the way I wanted to tonight.  I felt lost all day, not thinking correctly and had a complete lack of focus.  I felt like I had no idea how to approach this challenge and if I was even going to be able to move the weight.  This was ridiculous... I can clean and jerk 255lbs surely I can clean and jerk 185lbs.  I needed to snap out of this and do it quickly.  The WOD started, I pushed through it and finished in a time that I was okay with.  Tonight when I finished I had a smile on my face...that was more like it.  I loved the burning of my muscles, the complete exhaustion, and knowing that I did my best and it was good enough!

Even more amazing tonight than me regaining my confidence was watching everyone else work and suffer through this WOD.  Some of the athletes struggled through every single clean and jerk even missing 2 or 3 before completing 1 successful lift.  Even though this was very difficult for them they never gave up.  They had so much mental and emotional strength.  All of this translated into confidence.  They were confident in the ability and it showed.  They finished...they never let the WOD beat them.  It was inspiring to watch and was one of the greatest displays of determination that I have ever seen. 

As Crossfitters we put an extreme amount of effort and focus into going faster, lifting more weight, and working more efficiently.  This singular way of thinking can sometimes cause us to forget what is really fueling all of this...CONFIDENCE.  Without confidence we would doubt ourselves during every lift, never push to our full capacity in the WOD's, and we would never push outside of our save zone.  If you feel that you are lacking confidence remember what you have done in life, think about all the people that love you and support you, and look inside yourself to see what you are really made of.  Most of all have complete confidence in who you are and what you are! 

"You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”
- Rosalynn Carter

Frustrations and Postive Outcomes...

Have you ever been in a position where no matter how hard you work and no matter how hard you try it is never enough?  I have!  I think what you do after those situations is more important than anything else.  You have 2 options at this point.  1) Go home sulk, complain, and be consumed by it or 2.) Understand the limitations of your body, what your gifts and ability are, harness the strengths and work the weakness.  Which option do you think I would recommend choosing?  The obviously correct answer...#2! 

I have a pretty significant height disadvantage and with tonight's WOD being rowing and running I knew it would be very difficult for me.  All day long I stressed about this WOD.  How am I going to be competitive in this event.  The answer is try my best, make up me time on the run if possible and do consistent work on the row.  I did this, stuck to my plan and went as hard as I could.  It was not enough.  There is no fairy tale ending tonight, no PR's, no great times, just an overwhelming sense of disappointment and frustration. 

I need to vent and give you all a bit of history.  Tonight was the first time in a long that I felt my short stature being a disadvantage and a hindrance.  I always knew that it was more difficult for me to row then the taller men and knew that the best rowers in the world are taller guys but that has never stopped me from hopping on a rower and going to work.  I was rowing next to some amazing athletes tonight who both have at 9 to 10 inches on me...maybe even a foot.  I was rowing an almost identical pace but was pulling 2 strokes for every 1 of theirs.  On top of this frustrating observation they finished each row 50 to 60 meters ahead of me and had a head start on the run.  When I was growing up I was always much smaller than my classmates.  In middle school I repeatedly had my head shut in the lockers.  I would be getting my books out and someone would kick me in the back and shut my locker.  The top would lock shut and my head would be stuck in the bottom.  I tried and tried to not let this happen but it wasn't enough so it just would keep happening.  At lacrosse practice my teammates would push me around and one guy pushed me so hard into a goal post that he chipped the teeth in the front of my mouth and then laughed at me.  I could not do anything...just deal with it. 

When I got to high school I tried out for football.  I was 90 lbs and short but I never gave up.  My coach told my team he would rather have 50 guys like me than the biggest strongest player because I had heart, I fought for every inch of ground I stood on, and never stopped trying.  That was the beginning of my transformation.  I started to have some confidence and started to believe in myself..."maybe being short and small wasn't that bad".  Again it was!  I got pushed and shoved into the football lockers, got spitballs shot into my eyes, stuff taken from me and this was all done by my teammates.  When I walked down the hall at school I often would get kicked or pushed.  One time a guy whose name I will never forget kicked me so hard in the back I flew into a coke machine fell down in front of a hall full of people and then he and his girlfriend stood over me and laughed.  I picked myself up and went about my business.  This happened until I was junior in high school when I finally was strong enough to stop people from hurting me on a daily basis.

Where is this going?  Tonight when I was at such a disadvantage I started to feel like freshman Patrick but the bully this time was me.  I was beating myself up after the WOD because I expected myself to do something that no matter how hard I train or work just isn't in my deck of cards.  This doesn't mean that I won't train it or work at it...it just means I can't expect to row like the Olympians...I can only expect to row to the best of my potential. 

I talked with my Dad tonight because he too is small guy and has had to deal with this his whole life.  He said that being short is not fair but it is how God made you.  You have gifts that others don't and you are better for it.  You have worked your whole life to be the best you can even though most of your life your best has never been good enough.  I watched you work so hard, always giving more than others, and always putting in the extra effort and it has given you a lot.  He had a statement that really put it into perspective and it is funny..."you can't go up to a squirrel and ask it to lay an egg because you want an egg for breakfast".  He said "even if that squirrel wants to lay an egg for you no matter how hard it tries it won't happen".  I think what he meant was even if I want to be an amazing rower and to keep pace with my crossfit friends it won't always happen and no matter how hard I try it won't always happen.  He said take that effort and focus it on things that will make you a better athlete, don't always focus on your weakness.  It is important to train them but it is even more important to continue to train what you are good at. 

I still feel very defeated and frustrated but it will not take away from the rest of this week.  I will try even harder now in the rest of try out wods and will keep my chin up.  It will not be a failure if I know that at the end of the week I tried my best.  Perspective in the face of a challenge can often provide the most direct path to attaining the goal at the end of the challenge. 

I applaud all my friends at WCCF tonight for their out of this world performances.  I am proud of my effort tonight, I am proud of my frustration, but I am most proud of who I am and what I am made up.  I am made of patience, commitment, compassion, tenacity, understanding, and an undying will to keep working. 

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek.”
- Mario Andretti

                           My hound dog Mable.  She is unrelenting in her ability to be an amazing friend!

Personal Records...

Tonight at olympic lifting class it was the end of a 12 week training cycle and we were given the opportunity to max out on three lifts: the snatch, the clean and jerk, and the back squat.  When I found this out I was a little doubtful that tonight was going to be the night for me to do this.  I have been going pretty hard, I have been tired, and I am still adjusting to a new schedule/routine and box.  I had to put this out of my mind and attack the lifts. I grabbed my platform and it was on.  I was going to pick really heavy stuff up off the ground and put it over my head. 

The snatch was the first lift.  It is a very technical lift and is extremely difficult to do well.  I admit that my form is not perfect on these lifts but it is getting better.  I have a bad habit of letting the bar travel out and away from my body instead of straight up my body.  Despite this flaw I pushed through it.  I worked up to my previous PR of 185 lbs and caught it.  Next I put 195 lbs on the bar and snatched it.  The bar travel too far away from my body and I missed the lift.  I was FURIOUS!  I wanted to beat the 200lb mark.  I backed away from the bar, collected my thoughts and attempted again.  I CAUGHT IT!  I was floored I just caught 195 lbs.  Next I decided lets go past the 200 lb mark and try 205 lbs.  I caught it on the first try.  I CAUGHT IT!  Again I was floored.  I had been working towards this since the Wilkes Olympic Lifting seminar back in February.  I decided to try my next goal 215 lbs.  The snatch went up got it into the catch position but could not hold on to it.  It was a good place to stop.  215 lbs will come another day.

Next was the clean and jerk.  I warmed up going from 135 lbs to 225 lbs with relative ease.  I knew that my old PR of 245 lbs would be hard to hit but I was feeling confident and knew it was just mind over matter.  The next lift was 235 lbs and I nailed it.  Next was 245 lbs and that went easy.  I decided to jump another 10 lbs and attempt 255 lbs.  The first time the clean went easy and the snatch made it 90% of the way up and I lost it.  I did not drop deep enough into the snatch and was unable to lock it out.  I backed away from the platform, took some advice and encouragement from Coach Will and thought about the lift.  I stepped back on the platform and nailed it.  It went up easy.  I was excited and overjoyed.  255 lb clean and jerk...100lbs over my body weight.  The training has been paying off. 

The last lift of the night was the back squat.  My previous PR was 355 lbs and I was not sure what was going to happen with this lift.  I had already pushed beyond my previous limits on the 2 previous lifts and now I had to reset my mind and attack the back squat.  I warmed up through the weights from 135 lbs to 315 lbs.  For some reason 315 lbs seemed difficult and my confidence was wavering.  I dropped that bad attitude and got my head back in the game.  I threw 335 lbs on the bar...down and up no problem.  345 lbs and 355 lbs went the same way.  Okay time for a PR.  I put 365lbs on the bar.  I got underneath the bar, stepped back, and then down and up.  Right knee came in a bit but the lift went up.  I got my third PR for the night...365 lb back squat.  I was amped up but exhausted.  I could not wait to tell Kara what I had done.  She was very excited for me and told me that she and Mable needed to get me a cape.  I laughed and said I don't think so.  It is time to get back to work.

I would have not reached these PR's without a combination of hard work and great programming.  I was very fortunate to have a great strength bias at Crossfit Durham and to enter an amazing oly lifting box at Windy City Crossfit.  I am extremely pleased with these PR's but there are more desires and expectations on my horizon.  I want to train hard and push my limits even more.

Anything is possible if you put your mind, heart, and effort into it.  It is extremely important to have goals when it comes to crossfit.  You should have 2 types of goals: realistic goals and fantasy goals.  Realistic goals are goals that you can realistically achieve in the course of your immediate training and fantasy goals are goals that you can't imagine reaching but if you did it would be best thing in the world.

I wish you all the best of luck with the pursuit of your goals and conquering your weakness.  Never give up.  Every time you lift make every part of the movement count.  Every time you WOD push yourself to your breaking point.  Most of all never give up and never be satisfied, stay hungry and you will rise to levels you never before thought you could.

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”
- Gail Devers

Integrity...

Integrity.  What does integrity mean to you?  Do you have integrity? 

Integrity is the adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.  Based on this definition alone having integrity is an extremely difficult character trait.  Integrity is not a trait that is easily expressed or maintained by most people.  It takes a great deal of courage, confidence, and strength to have integrity.  It is adhering to your morals or a community's moral code in the face of a challenge.  A lot of people talk about integrity or claim to have integrity but has it ever been tested.

The first time I remember having my integrity tested as an adult was when I was at Officer Candidate School for the United States Marine Corps.  I was running through 4 feet of water on route to a simulated small arms fire fight on an enemy bunker.  I heard a voice in the distance yell "Rifle up Candidate Curtis".  I responded "huh..oh yeah".  The voice immediately got closer and become 100 times more harsh and angry.  I had disrespected by Platoon Commander in front of our entire training company.  Let's just say I made a massive mistake.  As I finished plowing through the water and was on dry land I was given a 1000 word essay to be completed on my free time about situational awareness where only words of 4 letters or more counted.  This was going to be difficult because our free time was between 2200hrs(10pm) and 0500hrs(5am) and we were to be sleeping during this time.  Lights were out what was I going to do?

After this training exercise we returned to our squad bay to clean our rifles first and then to clean up ourselves.  Rifles were always taken care of first because they will keep a Marine alive in battle and they needed to function perfectly every time the trigger is pulled.  My Platoon Commander told me that he would approach me once we returned to the squad bay to give me more specific instructions about my punishment. 

Well this had not happened.  Hours had passed and he was not clarifying his instructions.  I looked deep within myself and asked the question "what should I do?"  I was raised to be honest and accepting of the consequences for my actions.  I decided to go to my Platoon Commander's office.  There was very specific protocol for entering the Drill Instructor's and Platoon Commanders office/sleeping quarters.  A candidate had to stand by the door, bang three times on the wall, then state Good Evening Platoon Commander Captain America Candidate Curtis requests permission to enter.  You needed to wait for a reply and then if entrance was granted you would smack the wall once more and state Candidate on deck.  I stood at attention, very nervous and scared, and asked my Platoon Commander what the guidelines were for my punishment.  He had forgotten all about it.  I was floored, he was a human, he had forgotten.  He stated to me "Candidate Curtis you just showed me great integrity and caused yourself more work than you already have".  The guidelines were the same nothing changed, but my character was no longer in question in the mind of my Platoon Commander.  That night before and after my fire watch duty I completed my assignment.  I was proud that I had done the work, I kept my integrity.  My moral code was not broken and stood strong against a large test.

Where is this going?  Crossfit requires an amazing amount of integrity.  We are given strength programming and WOD's everyday and are expected by trusting coaches and friends to keep a proper count, do all the required rounds, and  not cheat in any fashion.  Without integrity people could make up all kinds of things, inflate their scores, skip rounds, and not complete the exercises properly.  As we progress through the games season Crossfitters around the world have the integrity of their training challenged.  The integrity for effective training and completing WOD's and skills properly will have massive impacts on their performance. 

Next time you enter your box think to yourself...Do I have integrity?  Am I giving my best effort?  When you are squatting are you going all the way down, when you are doing pull ups is your chin clearing the bar every time?  If it is not get it there, train harder, do not sacrifice the integrity of the skill or WOD.  Do what is expected of you.  Make the hard decision to do the hard work. 

"One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised.”
-Chinua Achebe

"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.”
- W. Clement Stone

My brother Quinlon and me at my USMC Graduation. 

Setting the example

What does it mean to be an example?  When I was growing up I was always told to be a good example for my brothers.  I am the oldest of 3 boys and it was always interesting.  Being the oldest meant that I had to experience everything first...the good and the bad.  No matter the situation I was always expected to set the example.  This was an example of what to do, how to do it, and when to do it.  I had no idea how to do any of these things...I just did what I thought was right. 

Was it always the right thing?  No!  Sometimes my example was the completely wrong thing to do and I hoped that my brothers would not follow that example and do the opposite instead.  It was very hard always being expected to set a good example for my brothers but I did it because I knew that's what needed to be done. 

As I got into high school I had the added responsibility of setting the example for my teammates.  This encompassed everything on and off the field.  On weekends are parties I was always sober, never drinking alcohol.  I would drink Gatorade and wait to take the keys away from friends that had way too much to drink...I was a total nerd.  I always knew that by doing this I was setting the best example I could.  I was a team captain in all the sports I played and thought that as a leader I needed to set the bar high and help others to try and reach that same level.  With some of my friends and teammates it worked and with others it never did.  I guess that is how our world works. 

How do you set the example?  What do you do in your community, in your family, or at work to set a good example?  How do you set the example in your Crossfit box?

People always think that it is the fire breather in the Crossfit box that sets the example.  I contest that!  The fire breathers do set an example and do raise a bar that most people only hope to achieve but there are many others that can do that too.  I love to watch the less gifted, less skilled Crossfitter who will never give up.  Pushes to the last possible second and is driven on guts and tenacity.  I think that raises a bar that even some of the best Crossfitters can't reach.  These people set an example and it is a powerful example.  The example they are showing us is...quitting is never an option, I will never stop working, and I gave it all to that WOD.  I am not sure how many of us can say that every time when approach a WOD we can give that same level of commitment. 

Another person in the Crossfit community that has to provide a great example is the coach.  When I was coaching at Crossfit Durham I always did the daily WOD's in a class I wasn't teaching.  I did the same thing all of my friends were going to do.  If they saw me suffering I knew that I would earn their respect.  Some coaches I have been around will not do the same WOD as the class or will not WOD around the classes.  I don't think there is anything wrong with that but I do feel your Crossfitters will begin to respect you more if you sweat and bleed with them.  It's the old saying..."actions speak louder than words".  What you do in presence of people who trust you means more than anything you can say.

I set an example of hard work, tenacity, and respect.  Everyday I walk through the doors to Windy City Crossfit I know that I cannot let anyone in that box down.  It is a great community and there are so many great athletes there.  We all try and be the best example that we can for everyone else in the box.  The individuals that graduate from the on ramp program need guidance in the world of Crossfit.  They may ask questions but more likely they will just watch the box's fire breathers.  These people need to do every movement the best they can, do every lift as technically sound as possible, and interact appropriately in the box and in the Crossfit community.  This is called social learning and we humans are great at it. 

Everyday you enter you box think to yourself...what kind of example am I being?  If you don't like it then change it.  Poor attitudes, lack of integrity, and lack of work ethic will never have a place in a Crossfit that I am training at.  Set your bars high, set expectations that seem impossible to achieve, and never give up.  NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP!  I will always be there to lift you up at the end of a WOD, to give you praise, to help you challenge yourself, and to help you reach your goals.  That is the example I want to set.  I will never let you fail as a friend and a fellow Crossfitter.

"Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours.”
 -Orson Swett Marden

Injuries, Health and frustration...

Two months ago I was at work doing some work on a microscope and realized that I was not breathing properly.  I was taking large gasps of air and not breathing in a normal rhythm.  I started to get a little anxious about this and thought to myself what the heck is happening.  I work so hard at Crossfit, train religiously, eat the best diet possible....what is my problem!  I was angry with myself and being stubborn I waited it out another couple of hours.  Finally I decided that I needed to go to the doctor.  I arrive at the doctor and they put me in an exam room.  I hate exam rooms, they smell too sterile and bad things always seem to happen in them.  Sorry for the digression.  A nurse collects my vitals, listens to my chest, asks me some questions about family history and medications and then leaves.  I told the nurse that I was having trouble breathing and my chest was wheezing.  In reality there was an audible rattle with each breath that could be heard without a stethoscope. 

Next the physician's assistant visits me.  Again we discuss my medical history.  Drive home the point that I do not smoke and never have.  I rarely drink alcohol and eat as healthy a diet as possible.  The doctor was concerned that I may have fluid around my heart or that a heart condition was causing fluid to build in my lungs.  I attempted to explain Crossfit to her and told her that if I had a heart condition I would definitely already know it.  She listened to me and stuck my finger in pulseoximeter.  This is a device that takes your pulse rate and measures the oxygen saturation of your blood.  Pulse was great...in the low 60's but the oxygen saturation was not....it was only 92% and should be no less that 98%.  The doctor looked at me and said "I usually send people to the hospital at 93% because they are flat out and purple...you must be either extremely tough or in incredible cardiovascular shape or both".  I told her it was both and we laughed.  I again tried to explain Crossfit and she told me I was crazy.  She basically said that I was having some kind of severe allergic reaction that was causing inflammation in my lungs and trapping fluid in my chest.  I had bilateral pneumonia due to allergic reactions. 

She decided to give me a nebulizer treatment and stated "that this usually helps most people get the inflammation down".  They nurse hooked me up to the machine and ran to treatment.  They retested my SpO2 and it was only 94%.  They decided to do it again and again they got the same result at 94%.  At this point they got worried because this treatment wasn't working.  They consulted me on what I wanted to do and on what my options were.  I told them I was not going to the hospital and to do whatever they thought was the next best option.  The nurse came in and placed and IV catheter.  They pulled 20 cc of blood for allergy testing and gave me an injection of solu-medrol which is a strong injectable steroid.  They gave me prescriptions for an inhaler, oral antibiotics, and oral prednisone.  I was very nervous and still was not feeling much better.  SpO2 came up to 96% and they sent me on the way.

After a 5 day rest from Crossfit I got back into the gym and was pulling the best splits of my life on the row.  I guess being able to breath and bring in the right amount of oxygen is important.  The results of my allergy test were back.  Turns out I have a few allergies.  Allergic to egg whites, almonds, peanuts, kiwi, hazelnut, some trees and grasses, latex, and a mild allergen to wheat.  I was eating egg whites, almonds, almond butter, and kiwi's everyday.  I was causing massive amounts of inflammation due to ingesting these foods all the time.  I started to immediately eliminate them from my diet and had to readjust my nutrition.  You would think this would have helped but 3 weeks later I was back to where I started.

I was back at wheezing and struggling to breath.  I was sent to a respiratory specialist with Duke Medical and told that I have horrific post nasal drip and that this is all due to allergies.  They tested me for asthma on a huge respiration machine and there is no evidence of asthma...I actually have an above normal lung capacity (due to my Crossfit training).  I was given a prescription nasal spray and told to take something like claritin or zyrtek.  I agreed to this and I was off taking pills and squirting stuff up my nose.  I hated this...I hate taking medications.  This leads us to where I am right now.  I have been doing this for a month and still have no improvement.

Can you imagine not being able to breath during your WOD's?  How about every time you take a breath you feel like you are choking because there is so much mucous in your respiratory tract you can 't get it out and you can't get air in.  Well that's what I feel like all the time.  I push through the WOD's no matter what but I am so angry and frustrated right now I am on my last straw.  All I want to do is breath and oxygenate my blood and I can't.  I am planning on seeing the doctor here in Chicago when I can get an appointment. 

Sometimes all you can do is have faith in yourself and to know that challenges can come in many forms.  A physical barrier, a psychological barrier, or an injury.  I think that most athletes have a universal reaction to an injury..."I am just going to push through this and it will get better on it's own".  Injuries can't always be made better by more training.  They require appropriate treatment and rest.  Resting for a bit may seem scary but it must be done.  If you keep pushing the injury it will snowball into something major that may possibly put you out for a long time or end your career.  What is the worse a week or two of rest or never being able to Crossfit again?

Give your injuries time, train around them, and gradually work back into what you were doing.  Try to focus on how your injury occurred.  Were you not hitting full range of motion, lifting too heavy of a load with poor technique, or over training?  By giving yourself a rest and refocusing your thinking you may be able to prevent any further injuries.  Injuries are hard to deal with and crush your confidence and training.  What can you do?

Realize they happen and that's that!  Get the right treatments, see the right doctors, and train the weakness that lead to your injury.  Improve other aspects of your training like nutrition.  Proper nutrition may help prevent any other injuries from occurring.  Don't give up, use the frustration and anger to fuel your recovery and become a smarter, stronger Crossfitter.

"Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain."
  -anonymous author.