Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Confidence and it's amazing powers...

Tonight was the second of four tryouts for the Windy City Crossfit Affiliate team.  This WOD was extremely challenging with a combination of pure strength and skill.  We had to complete three rounds for time of 7 ground to over head at 185lbs and 50 double unders.  It was extremely challenging going from a heavy skilled movement to a quick skilled movement.  This WOD really tested us.

All day today I had a lack of confidence.  I was very uncertain of how I was going to perform tonight after last night's WOD.  It is difficult to pick yourself back up after suffering such a huge mental and emotional defeat.  Even as I entered WCCF tonight and started to warm up I was very uncertain of myself.  The earlier class' bars looked extremely heavy.  The weight was pounding the ground with an Earth shaking thud!  Instead of firing me up it was making me feel more and more nauseous.  The anxiety was killing me... it was eating me alive.

The line up was set for the first heat.  I volunteered to go first because I could not stand to wait another minute.  I stepped up to the bar and started.  The weight was moving and the anxiety was gone.  It was all focus and effort at this point.  I knew I needed to just work until I was done and could not do another movement.  I punched through the WOD and it felt great.  All the feelings of self doubt and lack of confidence were gone.  I was by no means happy or satisfied but I had my confidence back.

What is Confidence?  What does it do for you?

Confidence gives me the strength to overcome the largest of challenges.  Confidence is not an easy thing to have...it has to be earned and proven.  Without confidence there would be very little that I could accomplish in life and at Crossfit.  This was completely evident all day today.  I was not sure that I would live up to my expectations and complete the WOD the way I wanted to tonight.  I felt lost all day, not thinking correctly and had a complete lack of focus.  I felt like I had no idea how to approach this challenge and if I was even going to be able to move the weight.  This was ridiculous... I can clean and jerk 255lbs surely I can clean and jerk 185lbs.  I needed to snap out of this and do it quickly.  The WOD started, I pushed through it and finished in a time that I was okay with.  Tonight when I finished I had a smile on my face...that was more like it.  I loved the burning of my muscles, the complete exhaustion, and knowing that I did my best and it was good enough!

Even more amazing tonight than me regaining my confidence was watching everyone else work and suffer through this WOD.  Some of the athletes struggled through every single clean and jerk even missing 2 or 3 before completing 1 successful lift.  Even though this was very difficult for them they never gave up.  They had so much mental and emotional strength.  All of this translated into confidence.  They were confident in the ability and it showed.  They finished...they never let the WOD beat them.  It was inspiring to watch and was one of the greatest displays of determination that I have ever seen. 

As Crossfitters we put an extreme amount of effort and focus into going faster, lifting more weight, and working more efficiently.  This singular way of thinking can sometimes cause us to forget what is really fueling all of this...CONFIDENCE.  Without confidence we would doubt ourselves during every lift, never push to our full capacity in the WOD's, and we would never push outside of our save zone.  If you feel that you are lacking confidence remember what you have done in life, think about all the people that love you and support you, and look inside yourself to see what you are really made of.  Most of all have complete confidence in who you are and what you are! 

"You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”
- Rosalynn Carter