Monday, May 3, 2010

Disappoint is relative...

I would like to first congratulate the Windy City Crossfit affiliate team for an outstanding performance this weekend at the North Central Regionals.  I was not able to travel and support the team in person but followed the 2010 Games page as much as possible online and cheering on my fellow crossfitters from my living room. 

I am going to be selfish for a bit.  It was very difficult for me to not be apart of the team and not be able to compete at the affiliate games.  I wanted very badly to be apart of the team and to compete this past weekend.  Due to moving from North Carolina back to Chicago, Illinois I missed the windows of opportunity to compete in either the NC/SC region and the North Central Region.  This left me in a "bipolar" state of excitement of the competitors and frustration with myself for not being able to compete.  This leads up to this morning.  At 5:30am when I stepped out of my front door I was very angry and down....I was disappointed in myself.

As I drove down Lake Shore Drive watching the sun rise over Lake Michigan with the light reflecting off of the John Hancock building I began to reflect inwardly about this anger and disappointment.  I realized that disappointment is relative.  I mean what is disappointing to one person may be another person's dream. 

This morning it didn't matter than I can push myself harder and farther than most people, that I can do free standing handstand push ups, or that I can almost squat clean 2x my body weight...all that mattered was that I was not able to compete.  I was disappointed in myself and it was not a logical emotion or thought process.  I see new members in crossfit everyday and have trained people that cannot run a half mile and if they could do half of what I can it would make their year.  I had to trash my poor attitude this morning and decide to work harder.

During crossfit this evening we had to 5 rounds untimed of squat cleans and 10 ring push ups.  Squat clean weight was 235lbs and it went up easy.  During the WOD tonight we had three rounds of 45 seconds of 95lb thrusters followed by a 15second rest then immediately to follow was 45seconds of muscles ups follow by a 15 second rest.  I completed 63 repetitions during this WOD.  I was training hard again and realizing that my disappoint was not for the bad but was a motivator. 

After the WOD tonight I appreciated more than ever the gifts that I have bee given and challenges that I have overcome.  I have decided that disappointment has no place in my training regiment and that positive attitudes, support, and motivators will always help me push through the toughest of crossfit moments.

Every crossfitter should take a few minutes a day to themselves to reflect on what they have accomplished and the gifts they have.  As Crossfitters we push ourselves to levels that normal people cannot tolerate or imagine reaching.  We have such high expectations and dreams in our training and sometimes we focus entirely too much on the numbers and weights.  Some focus and energy needs to spent in personal reflection.  Taking time to think about our training and where we want to go will give more focus to our training.  This refocusing of our energy, thoughts, and emotions will help us to become better athletes. 

"Our thoughts create our reality -- where we put our focus is the direction we tend to go.”
-Peter McWilliams


  1. Insightful post Patrick. Immersing oneself daily in self thought, reflection and admitting that we can only conquer what is in front of us, not what we have out of reach in the near future or the past is what will make you a better person inside.

    Although "bipolar" feelings are normal in a situation you found yourself in with the high wire act that you performed has left you a stronger willed individual with insight of what it takes to over come adversity with a clearer view of what needs to be internalized and what else you need to get rid off.

    You are your own Black Box. Keep what works, trash the rest and don't look back.

  2. i have had the same experience in crossfitting. a good day or a bad day! i have taken time off to regroup my thoughts and j$ has laughed at how critical i am of my own performances. now i am in a better place.

    you are already part of a team and you will have your shot at being part of the affiliate team at the national. you bring so much to wccf and it's being great watching you kill every wod.